TODAY, TUMBLR, I EMBARKED ON A FANTASTIC ADVENTURE!
i am not sure what i am doing with my mouth BUT YES! i decided to build… a
i had to unscrew tiny little bolts and put poles together. needless to say i am obstinate and i refused to go find a screwdriver, of which we have many because my dad was a carpenter.
instead of a screwdriver i used nail scissors, which is probably very unsafe and i’m sure ikea would be very mad at me for doing it. but ikea aren’t in my room, so… nail scissors it is!
one piece of pole attatched! now for the next one!
i’m like some DIY magician.
now i have a long metal pole and a weird metal halo left over…
okay, that’s the lamp base. so i had to screw the lamp onto the base using slightly bigger, but just as fiddly, screws.
look at how disgusted i am.
it was tricky and i had to use the nail scissors again. but finally…
now i had to first unwrap the lamp from it’s weird wire covering, then attach it using what seemed to be really strong elastic bands.
but finally, i has a new lamp. but no bulb for it yet. fuuuuuuuuuu-
like every other person on the planet, i like and dislike things about myself. so y’know, i figured i’d tell you.
okay? let’s go!
my eyebrows. which is kinda odd, but still… i just think they’re a good shape, and they’re not… crazy, which is good because i’m too lazy to pluck them and it hurts.
my lips! i like that they’re naturally a nice colour, and they’re all full and naturally kinda pouty. only issue i have is they get chapped super-easy, but that’s because i am useless at not-losing chapsticks.
the very tip of my nose!
it’s kind of got two dents right at the tip on each side, and for some reason i REALLY Like them. also it now has the right number of piercings in it, which makes me even happier.
MY EYES! so it’s kiiinda hard to see, but i have central heterochromia, which means i have 2 colours in my eyes- brown round the middle and blue on the outside. so they’re special and pretty and such. also yay nose piercings again!
my height! i am five foot seven, which is almost tall for a girl, and i like it lots, because i can reach high shelves and the like. it also means i don’t feel a need to wear heels, so i just wear my lovely stompy boots all the time. and i’m not too tall so prospective boyfriends don’t feel threatened by me- if i was some amazon i think i might be a litttttle scary.
now it is time for the things i dislike.
my teeth. you can kinda see it here, but my teeth are not… beautifully straight or blinding white. they’ve always always always been sorta discoloured, i do brush them and stuff, but i just don’t like them at all. i want cute, straight teeth, not what i got now. ah well.
my skin. okay it’s hard to see, but my skin is super-duper sensitive. like… i eat a bar of chocolate and it responds with zits everywhere. and because it’s so feeble, using ANY kind of ‘remove spots’ things that aren’t shittily mild makes it die. oh, and although i like being pale, i burn so easily it’s just horror. so yeah, i need melanin and some way of telling spots to fuck off.
okay this may be weird but i REALLY HATE my profile. i don’t like the bridge of my nose- i broke it when i was small by running into a wall (derp) and so it sticks out more than i’d like, and i have a goddamn overbite so i feel like my chin is too far back and such. hence most of my photos being straight on. unless it’s with the degu- in which case people won’t be looking at me.
my waist. i don’t have much of one. slightly rectangular here. i’d like to go in a bit more, get some actual curves going on.
my nails. they suck. so many hangnails, so many broken nails, nail varnish always goes within five seconds of it being put on… i’d just like them to look NICE.
MY. FUCKING. OVARIES.
they suck. they suck balls and i want them taken out and put back in when i actually WANT kids. they make me spotty, moody, in pain and worry about getting pregnant even if i haven’t had sex in a bazillion months. as useful as they are, i just want them to calm their shit and stop being cruel.
i start off in my room. because that is a good place to start, okay?
then i collect the degu. i know it’s dark (okay, very dark) but you can kinda see me and the pale thing beside me is my bookshelf as seen through the cage.
THE DEGU IS RETRIEVED! time to go downstairs.
now we are in…. the hall!
so we continue until we reach the bathroom. you can see the sink!
then the degu decides to go down my shirt.
then i brush my teeth and the degu uses me as a climbing frame.
until my teeth are clean!
then i let the degu climb the stairs because she likes doing it. i don’t think she’s in this picture, but it’s one of my stairs.
she runs up the stairs and i get her into her cage. this is exhausting.
now it is time to put on my pajamas! this includes putting clothes on right.
then i brush my hair to make it feel nice.
then i take off whatever makeup i’m wearing.
before applying spot stuff and nice moisturisery things.
rubbing the moisturiser into my face makes me look kinda stupid. i don’t care much.
then i turn out the light and go and tumbl in the dark <3
in no particular order…
"we are gonna get married and live in a little house with a white picket fence and 2 kids and a cat and a dog and a birdbath and i’ll make dinner and we’ll have rampant sex when the kids are out of the house"
"SING TO ME. SING TO ME. GO ON. SING. GO ON. YOU KNOW YOU WANNA,"
"oh wales <3"
THAT CHOCOLATE GUY FROM THE LYNX AD
until, finally, a decent photo!
HI TUMLBR! LOOK AT MY FACE!
see anything… new? exciting? no? well. okay, here’s a better picture.
ohohoh! new nose piercing! yay! so today i decided that i was gonna get my nose pierced again in time for my 18th. i woke up at 10 and got out of the house at like half 12. then i went into town and BOUGHT THINGS.
what things? well. just a shirt i’ve wanted for-fucking-ever…
fuck yes, iron fist. totally gonna be taking some slr-pictures of this shirt. i had a bow on it, but i took it off > > i dunno, i like it better like this. BUT EITHER WAY- I LOVE IRON FIST! SO MUCH! :D and werewolves, although i’m not bypassing my zombie clothing collection. nuh-uh, i love it! but yeah…
yes, iron fist give me an erection so powerful it could impregnate optimus prime. with triplets.
i earnt the money for facial piercings and clothing by looking after germans. it was hella weird. they were really quiet and so i just sat downstairs and had really disjointed family-film sessions. and i got £66 quid for doing that. most of which is gone > <
oh, and it’s my birthday on friday! i will finally be 18!
also i hung out with abbie today. it was fun : ) and we had tasty food that i couldn’t finish > < this is bad as usually i’m an eating machine. ah well. i am disappoint in myself.
was my granddad’s funeral.
so instead of it being what i did, i’m gonna show you my (most immediate) family, tumblr. because i love them all, as well as some things with sentimental value to me.
that’s me, when i was small, going around a farm with my dad.
and that’s me, as a newborn baby, asleep with my mum. i love this photo so much.
and once more, a baby me and my parents. i love them loads, they’re awesome and encouraging and always there when you need them.
these are my maternal grandparents. and me, yes. grandma’s a bit easily shocked, and granddad’s getting kinda grumpy as he gets less able to do things, but i know they love me and my brothers. they’re just not good at showing it- they tend to show affection through feeding.
both of my grandfathers- ken and john. granddad ken was buried today, but the only memories i have of him are good ones. he used to make jelly with canned strawberries in, and he was always interested in what colour i’d dyed my hair. he was also an incredibly kind man, and he loved helping people. and i know it’s something people say about the dead, but we have a letter from the neighbourhood he used to live in, nominating him for a civic award for all his hard work.
me and my auntie eva. she died when i was young, but i can remember her pinching my cheeks too hard and being faintly scared of her, as well as going to visit her in her big old house on a grey rainy day. i think she’s actually my great-aunt.
auntie paula, my grandmother, and me. as well as mouse hat. auntie paula isn’t really related to me, but she’s been there all my life. she has a load of dogs, and i remember spending happy summer days in her garden, playing with them and fishing in her pond for newts.
those are my cousins- nicola, me, then my other cousin donna. i talked to donna a lot today. she’s really kind and welcoming. nicola’s a little more awkward, but she’s getting married this summer and is really passionate about animals.
now these are my brothers- owen, who’s 15, and toby, who’s 11. i’m closer to owen, but i love them both, even though toby never shuts up. owen has asbergers, and i’m kind of the only one he really talks to, which makes me feel really special. but they’re my brothers, and i love them both the same.
now, onto sentimental objects!
recognise it? if not, go back to the photo of baby-me being held by a bride and a bridesmaid… yes, it’s a dress i wore when i was small and adorable. cute, huh?
these are some other things i wore when i was small.
i’m pretty sure this is from the cake when i was named.
this is a bag of silk roses from my mother’s wedding dress.
this is a book i was given for my 5th birthday by my auntie paula.
these are the tags i wore on my little baby wrists when i was born.
and this is the umbilical cord clamp i had when i was born.
these are some things i was given, when i was born, by my ‘fairy godmother’, auntie chrissi. they represent things- she wished for me to have ‘alert ears’, ‘a sensitive mouth’, ‘searching eyes’, ‘adventurous feet’, ‘a loving heart’, ‘an open mind’, ‘creative hands’ and NOT have my dad’s nose (i’m wearing that gift. fetching, huh?) as well as wishing i find my unique place in life.
and now, my final thing:
my twin clowns, from my granddad.
why hello there little tumblr. come and sit on my knee and i will tell you a tale. and i will also stop doing the weird frog face. sound good? today i went on an ADVENTURE!
hell yeah adventure pose. but yes, i went to go look at a university in london, called- dun-dun-duuuun!- roehampton! and. it. was. awesome.
i was woken up at 6 am. i didn’t know that time actually existed, but i guess you learn new things every day. then i got dressed and we got in my dad’s van and set off! at first i was like
then i was like
then i just fell asleep.
this is weird because i never ever sleep in moving vehicles. but yes. after like… 3 hours travelling, we got there. and it was great! the campus was all green and leafy.
and there was a pond and ducks and stuff! the morning was pretty much all talks, and i discovered that i am eligible for a full student loan and probably a grant of some kind too.
then me and dad went to go find food and got caught in a rainstorm!
but then we found sandwiches and so all was good. then we did a… taster session thing, and i learnt about the creative writing course, because that’s what i wanna do.
look at how i hold that pen. i was BORN to write!
then we went home and i fell asleep in the van again, listening to the decemberists.
note: i like the decemberists. i just fell asleep. my dad likes them too so he put them on.
HI TUMBLR. so i’m doing another one of those photo thingies cause the last one was pretty fun.
so yeah. the biggest thing that happened this week was my granddad dying. the funeral’s on wednesday. i’m going- my brothers aren’t.
it will doubtlessly be horribly awkward, because i barely see the family in that area and i’m a little too odd for them. i’ll just be quiet and polite and hope nobody notices me too much. but i am gonna miss my granddad.
on with lighter stuff! i had a progression day this week, and they. suck. balls. the best part of the day was the std talk (we get a lot of those) and the magician fella. he said he’d check out my stories tumblr, which was kinda awesome ‘cause he’s like… a rising star in magic or something. he’s gonna go perform in vegas. on the whole, though, it was a sucky day.
also my angry face amuses me a lot. figured you lot should know. on the progression day, i also got a pair of pants which i like. they probably won’t fit me.
so as they probably won’t, i will wear them as a cunning little hat. ahaha. i have poise and dignity. BUCKETLOADS OF POISE AND DIGNITY.
i also went and saw transformers with the boyfriend today. it was AWESOME. i have a giant nerd-girl-boner over watching giant robots smash the shit out of each other.
and things are going well with boyfriend too. i’m so pleased about that. he came round when he heard that my grandfather died, and we cuddled lots and he made friends with robin the degu. and today he said that he was glad that i’m into nerdy things like star wars and transformers and stuff. and we might be going camping sunday but i dunno if that’s possible, as i might have to babysit. bah. ah well, at least i’m getting paid.
AND i get to go see hamlet with wil. awesome! and i have… 3 hours left of college. yeaah!
STEP ONE: AQUIRE DYE AND A BATHROOM.
STEP 2: READ INSTRUCTIONS
STEP 3: PUT ON THE SCIENCE GLOVES. FEEL MAD WITH POWER.
STEP 4: HAVE SOME OF YOUR TASTY TASTY CEREAL.
STEP 5: GET THE HAIR DYE MIXY STUFF!
STEP 6: PUT THE TUBE IN THE BOTTLE THEN SHAKE IT.
STEP 7: SHAKE IT MORE.
STEP 8: SHAKE. IT. MORE.
STEP 9: I THINK YOU CAN GUESS.
STEP 10: AFTER ALL THAT SHAKING… MORE SNACKING!
all that shaking was tiring okay don’t look at me like that
STEP 11: PUT YO TOWEL ON.
STEP 12: UNTIE HAIR!
STEP 13: APPLY DYE TO HAIR AND WRAP HAIR IN TOWEL.
STEP 14: WAIT.
BECAUSE I’m hella bored, i will give tumblr a nice little rundown of what’s going on in my life.
I’M GOING OUT MORE!
which has, SHOCK HORROR, lead me to SOMEHOW ACQUIRE A NICE YOUNG MAN. he’s called rob. it’s all pretty cool.
I KNOW RIGHT? i also discovered i can work super smash bros, and i always play as pikachu. ALWAYS. PIKACHU.
and i am almost done with all my courses! but we’re not doing much, just sitting in class being all ‘meh’. the only thing i’m reaaally enjoying right now is hamlet, because i love shakespeare. but otherwise it’s all a bit boring, to be honest.
SO ALL IN ALL, LIFE IS PRETTY CHILL.